Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
