My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
