he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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