Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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