I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
