a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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