I bet he comes in French.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it glows. i had to have it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
