i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
