I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Come share oat with me in your robe
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize