Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
