My first STD was from a foam party
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
