What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
