Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Less talking, more tequila
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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