i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize