I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
