apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
