i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
