Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
