So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
