I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
