I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
