I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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