My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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