I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
