I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
