my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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