this beer tastes like vomit already
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
