I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
