i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
