so that wasnt chicken after all
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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