so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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