Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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