Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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