Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
