I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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