Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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