We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
