Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
