from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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