Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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