I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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