I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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