I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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