someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
