Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no, he came in my armpit
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
