So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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