We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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