he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I die, sorry about rent.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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