I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
