we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
