I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
