me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize