it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
