3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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