What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
