they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
