Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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